Diaries of a gurl in love


Weeks passed and Suzan was falling more and more in love with Jeff, her mum noticed her cheerful spirit but never asked her about it.

Jeff was a secret between Suzan, Lean her kid sis and Lynette her friend. Meanwhile, Jeff was trying to explain to his mum why he wouldn’t return home that weekend, Jeff actually lied to Suzan. Yes he was an only child to a Togolese mum and a Nigerian dad but a 3rd year student in Stanford college New York.

He was charged with a rape case in school, his dad decided to send him back to Nigeria for a while to reduce the tension and chaos. He then decided to flex awhile and have fun before heading back, unfunately for Suzan, she fell into the wrong hands, becoming a victim of circumstances.

It was a Thursday, Suzan just came back home from lectures and was so so tired when her dad called, telling her to get herself and her kid sister ready, he was coming to get them to go to Ibadan for a thanksgiving service. His younger brother got promoted to Air vice marshal (AVM), so he had invited the whole family to come over to Ibadan and rejoice with them. Suzan’s dad had called their mum first to inform her about the thanksgiving but she insisted that he told the kids himself.

Suzan was reluctant at first because she hated her cousins, they were pompous, arrogant and spoilt, but she wanted to please her dad so she agreed. She called Jeff and told him she will be spending her weekend in Ibadan and will return on sunday. He was not happy as he had plans too for the weekend, his flight was for Monday.


When they had started the so-called relationship, he was just out for fun, he didn’t know Suzan will be so into him and the relationship thingy. She had established the fact that she was a virgin at 22 and was ready to continue being a “V” till she was 25. She was planning to get married at the age of 25.

Bullshit Jeff thought, as sex was the only thing he really wanted from the pretty, intelligent, funny and attractive Suzan. He told her he was okay with her going to Ibadan and he will see her the evening when she returns.


Suzan told her kid sister Leah about the weekend trip and helped her pack up.
The next day was Friday and Suzan’s mum and Dad were getting ready when Suzan returned from lectures informing them of a test coming up the next day which was Saturday. Although she hated school, she was a little bit excited about the test, she won’t have to put up with her annoying cousins for 2 days. Her dad on the other hand wasn’t happy with the news and thought she was lying so he called her level cordinator who happened to be his friend. Dr Eze. confirmed that the test was true, her mum wanted to stay back but Suzan insisted that they go. After serious convincing, Suzan’s dad agreed and her family took off.

Suzan rested and started reading for her test when Jeff called to find out if they had arrived, since they were flying. Suzan told him about the test, he was happy and told her he will soon be at her house. He said he was doing something close to her area.

Jeff showed up at 7:25 pm, Suzan served him rice and stew, they talked about alot of things and she was having real fun, only that she was too hyper-active and laughing alot. She knew she wasn’t high on drugs as she has a very light brain that can’t take even snapp which was just like 2% alcoholic. They watched a movie and were talking about her test when she discovered Jeff was all over her, touching her in an improper way.

She knew she needed to stop him or run or something, but she was too weak to do that. Before she knew what was happenening, Jeff had gone half way undressing her, telling her he had waited for this opportunity a long time ago. He told her if she truly loved him, she would lay back and allow him get what he deserves.

Cold tears were running down her cheecks, she now understood what was happening and the only word she could describe what was coming was rape…



Acrimony, hmmmmmm.
After watching Tyler’s Acrimony for the second time, I did not realize I was still on my seat for another five minutes. I don’t know what I was waiting for? Maybe a post credit scene (no thanks to Marvel Cinematic Universe for teaching me how to be patient after a movie is done to see a little bit of epilogue). What did I expect from Acrimony’s post credit scene? An assurance from Tyler that, what I had just witnessed was purely fiction, and not based on true events. Of course, that assurance never came; it did not need to. I was already convinced that, I had seen this movie before. In real life. Typical Tyler. He takes you on an emotional rollercoaster through his movies, exposing to you to things that give you a sense of déjà vu.

The thing about Tyler’s movies is that, you can always relate to either the plot, a characters struggle, a dialogue or a theme in the movie. You sit through his movies, shedding tears and thinking to yourself, this is real life on screen. This is me, or my friend, or my family or my next door neighbor. Acrimony is no different.

Acrimony is the story of a young couple who went through thick and thin in pursuit of the male partners lifelong dream. The young and naive woman in the relationship made difficult and painful sacrifices for her man, despite the warnings of her family. She made her sacrifices out of love, belief and unshakable resolve. All she ever wanted was to see her man happy and successful. Her man, on his part, seemed like all she thought he was. He had drive, focus and determination. And he appeared to love her in the same measure. Until it became clear that, everything was not the way it seemed.
And then came rage, hatred, pain, regret, violence, revenge.
One question I kept asking myself after seeing the movie was this; was the woman, Melinda wrong in reacting the way she did after her painful split from her husband, Robert? I mean, this woman practically staked her life and dreams for her husbands. She was excluded by her family for sticking with him. After eighteen fruitless years of waiting and hoping and wishing that everything would be fine, she finally reached her breaking point. She had given and given and given and she could not give anymore. Not because she did not want to, but because she could not afford to. She literally had nothing left to give. No money, no motivation, no energy, no love. And what did she get from her husband in those eighteen years of giving?

Anguish. Despair. False hope. Pain. Heartbreak.

But then, how much responsible was Robert for all the troubles Melinda had to go through? Was Robert responsible for any of Melindas woes at all? Or was he simply misunderstood? Was Melinda a nutcase?

Acrimony got me reflecting on life, love and many choices. Here are some of the lessons I learnt from the movie Acrimony:

* Sieve what advice you adhere to, even if its genuine & comes from people who love you dearly. Not every good advice is good advice.
* The best people to consult when you want to resolve a conflict in your relationship are yourself & your partner. No one knows your relationship better than both of you.
* Love unconditionally but love with reason.
* Two perfect people may not be perfect together.
* Anger is a choice. And it is never a good one.

* When you are angry, the best thing to do is nothing. Don’t even think. Just let the anger subside.
* Social media does not need to know everything that happens in your relationship. Don’t hide the fact that you’re in a relationship, but as much as possible, keep the things that happen therein, private.
* Learn your partners love language, else, you’ll labour in vain to provide acts of service and gifting gifts when your partner only understands words of affirmation and quality time. This could put so much strain on your relationship.
* Swallow your pride and make amends as soon as possible, irrespective of who is wrong. There is no medal for Best Partner Who Can Stay Angry For the Longest Time.
*Love has no limit but the lover is not fireproof, so you must pay attention to their needs as well. People can be selfish, extremely selfish
* Selfishness is really just another one of those mundane things humans have as part of their personalities which is fine, when in moderation. Sadly moderation wasn’t something Robert had much of, not even when it came to the woman he said he loved. Even when Robert saw his wife having to take a second job to keep their finances afloat or even the incident of his battery being responsible for blowing all their electrical wiring, he was still much more concerned with himself and achieving his own goals.
* The one person you can depend on is yourself
* There is no end to belief. Your dreams will always come through, just stay true to it. Whilst you wait for that tomorrow, remember there is a today and pay the required price to live for today.

* If you have sacrificed for something, never give up. You may just be at the verge of reaping the fruits
* You have to deal with the little foxes; anger, resentment, hate, pain, etc. Seek help else it will destroy you.
* Surround yourself with people that will help you with what you need and not what you want. Your friends are damn important, choose wisely
* Faithfulness should beget same. Sacrifice should attract same. If someone has been kind to you, don’t give up easily. Fight for that person till there’s nothing left to fight for.
* Don’t sell your dream for a paltry sum, out of desperation. Someone will understand its value and offer you the right price.
* No matter how brilliant you are, access is everything. Without access to the right people, you may never achieve your full potential.
* You need to let some people go, or be let go by some people to get your breakthrough.
* No matter what happens, never forget those who were there when you had nothing.
* Take care of your mental health. People pay way more attention to their physical health than their mental health. While you devote resources to the body, devote to the brain as well.
* When things do not go the way you want, count your blessings, move on and live your best life.
* Trust, once broken, can never be regained. Marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice.
* It is a commitment to love and nurture each other till you die. Yes! Till you die.
* It is a sacrifice that you make in all the times when you’d rather go off on your own to the Grand Canyon and you have to stay home to take care of spouse
* Marriage is a commitment that should never be broken. A commitment to be the last one standing after the applause has stopped and everyone has gone their way.
* In your marriage, always do your best. So that at the end of the day, you can stand justified before God, yourself and even your spouse. Don’t hold back any part of you.
* Remember there are three of you in the marriage: God, spouse and you.
One common thread through all the lessons: God! Never over look him. Once you do, you start veering off the road and into a ditch. Base your values on him, your family decisions and patterns on him. Your personal rest and peace and well being on him and him alone then watch every other thing fall into place.

Yours truly, Dayil Mercy


It is one of the most fundamental questions asked by every person who has ever walked the earth. It is a question that has baffled mankind since the beginning of time. After all, you and I played no role in our own existence. None of us requested to be born into this world. One day we simply appeared on this earth. So it is only natural to ponder: Why am I here ?

In fact, it is not a stretch to say that man automatically realizes that the answer to this question is important. Interestingly, each one of us has already answered this question. Whether we realize it or not, our current path in life has been chosen based upon our own unique answer to this question.
I would even go a step further and suggest to you that the answer to this question not only determines your future on this earth, but also in the hereafter.

Jerry Robinson(2002) said, “The Bible explains the purpose of our existence by revealing the origins of humanity. According to the New Testament, every person that exists was created by God, “through” and “for” Jesus Christ.
Put simply, every person and everything was created by God’s purpose, and for His purpose.In addition, the Bible tells us that God crafted each one of us by His own hand:

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (Psalms 139:13-16) “.

Today, your life rests in the same loving hands that created you.

In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” (Job 12:10)

Friend, you have been placed on this earth for a very specific purpose. Obviously, I don’t know you. But I do know this; if you are struggling to find meaning in your life, you should consider this question: If your life truly had no purpose or meaning, why would you feel the need to search for one? The search for meaning resides deep within every human being. We intuitively know that there is something greater than ourselves within the universe.
God chose to bring you into existence as a part of His own eternal will. You have an eternal purpose!
Your purpose exists in the mind and will of God. Discovering your life’s purpose will come as you search the mind and will of God through prayer and consistent Bible reading. Search for Him with all of your heart, mind, and soul. He is near and waiting for you to find Him.

“The two most important days in your life is the day you were born and the day you find out why”. Daya

If you are going to discover how God wants to use your life and work, you must know why you were created. If you start trying to determine your purpose in life before understanding why you were created, you will inevitably get hung up on the things you do as the basis for fulfillment in your life, which will only lead to frustration and disappointment.
First and foremost, God created you to know Him and to have an intimate relationship with Him. In fact, God says that if a man is going to boast about anything in life, “boast about this: that he understands and knows me” (Jer. 9:24).

Man’s relationship with God was lost in the Garden when Adam and Eve sinned. Jesus’ death on the cross, however, allows us to restore this relationship with God and to have an intimate fellowship with Him. The apostle Paul came to understand this when he said,

I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself” (Phil. 3:10 MSG ).

Establishing this relationship with God is vital to understanding your purpose. If you don’t have this relationship with God, you will seek to fulfill your purpose out of wrong motives, such as fear, insecurity, pride, money, relationships, guilt or unresolved anger. God’s desire is for you to be motivated out of love for Him and to desire to worship Him in all that you do. As you develop your relationship with God, He will begin to reveal His purpose for your life. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord” (Jer. 29:11).

Hillman, O.S(2011) said; “your purpose in life is chosen by God. It is not negotiable. It is like calling water wet, there is no changing that fact, and there’s no changing God’s purpose for your life. While you may not fulfill the purpose for which you were made, you still have a purpose that God intends for you to fulfill”.

This is your blueprint from God. In the same way that He had a specific purpose in mind for Jesus when He sent Him to the earth, He has a specific purpose in mind for your life. Discover your purpose on earth, it makes all the difference……..

Written by Dayil Mercy.

Love Beyond compared

We all have a desire to be cherished and wanted, to hold someone close and to be held, to love and to be loved in return. We want to be part of the greatest love story ever told. We dream of a love like in the books and movies. I know I’ve read my fare share of Francine Rivers novels, Nicholas Sparks novels, Karen Kingsbury novels, Debra Smith novels and i’ve definitely watched almost every cheesy romance/love movie.

We have such high expectations of what we want in our relationships and how it can be perfect. We’re constantly searching for “the one” that will make everything fall into place and love us unconditionally. But often, we’re so busy searching for our earthly human love, that we miss out on the greatest love story ever told: the one with our heavenly Savior.

Before anything else,you should know that you are wanted, you are loved,you are promised, you are precious, you are valuable, you are desired for and cherished, and you are spoken for.

We didn’t ask for it, but He loves us anyway.

He is patient. He is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He does not dishonor others. He is not self-seeking. He is not easily angered. He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil, but He rejoices in the truth. He always protects us, always trusts us, always has hope in us, and He always perseveres. He is the perfect love. He does not let you down. He loves you unconditionally no matter what you do, and he forgives

He sent His only son knowing that he would be ridiculed, mocked, betrayed, beaten, and hung on a cross to die a slow painful death all for us. He loved us so much that some of his very last words were asking for forgiveness, for our mistakes, wrongdoings, and sins. He is there when no one else seems to be, and He makes miracles happen every day. He never lets you down. He has forgiven you for everything you have done, and everything you are going to do. His mercies are made new each day.

You see, He is the perfect definition of love. His love is beyond compared, his love is unthinkable, its so so prefect. The relationship you have with our Savior is the greatest love story ever written. It trumps any book or movie out there. His love is constant and unwavering. One day you will find “the one” you’re meant to be with on Earth, but just remember that you don’t need to search relentlessly to get the greatest love story ever, because your story has already been written. You already have it. You are a part of the greatest love story that could ever be written, and if you remember that, and trust in Him, He will lead you to the perfect Earthly love you desire.

Happy Valentines day in advance.


This is my friend and course mate Jidauna suhunshak Audu, a 300 level student of library and information science, Faculty of education, university of Jos. He was diagnosed with end stage kidney disease since December, 2016 and was only able to commence hemodialysis on the 11 September 2017 due to lack of fund.
At this moment, he can barely afford two sessions of dialysis per week as against the conventional three that is required. However, the best form of treatment for this condition is a kidney transplant, the cost of the procedure, depending on where it is done is between 10-15 million naira.
your assistance in any way possible will enable Mr suhunshak jidauna urinate because for the past months, he’s been unable to urinate . he needs our help, financially and otherwise, prayers also is greatly needed.

His account number :0030611679
Account name: suhunskak jidauna Audu
Bank: Diamond bank
Nothing is too big, nothing is too small, God bless you as you reach out and also as you help in sharing this and soliciting.


It is not always easy to give thanks, but this is the very thing we must do in order to see God’s will accomplished in our lives. This is how we move into higher realms of faith for ourselves, for our city, and for our nation.

Thanksgiving has great power to bring joy and break the power of the enemy. Whenever you give thanks to God, despite the most difficult circumstances, the enemy loses a big battle in your life. When you give thanks in the midst of difficulty, you bring pleasure to God’s heart. He is looking for Christians who live in a realm of praise and thanksgiving where the enemy no longer has an ability to hold or manipulate that person. Satan is defeated when we have a thankful heart because thankfulness during difficulty is a sacrifice pleasing to God.
Are you thankful? Are you thankful for your present circumstances? Are u thankful the life you’ve lived, and the years ahead? Are you thankful for your salvation, your family, your friendships, school and your job? Thankfulness is a key to your life. It is the key that turns your situation around because it changes you, your outlook, and your attitude. There is power in a thankful heart.

David said in Psalm 116:17, “I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.” Let each of us seek to have an attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving, rising to a new level of holiness in our lives.

Here are 3 ways to practice an attitude of thankfulness in everyday life:

* Thank and praise God for everything in your life- thank Him for even the difficulties. It is a sacrifice to do this. But He can turn troubles to triumph. “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise — the fruit of lips that confess his name” (Hebrews 13:15 ).

* Don’t allow yourself to complain about anything-During the difficult times, be very careful to watch your tongue. Instead of complaining, think of ways you can verbally offer God the sacrifice of thanksgiving.

* Don’t compare yourself with others-Don’t wish that your life was different. God knows what is best. The Bible says having a thankful heart is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. When we begin to thank God for what we have rather than comparing ourselves with others, it opens the door for God’s blessings.

“God smiles when we praise and thank Him continually. Few things feel better than receiving heartfelt praise and appreciation from someone else. God loves it, too. … An amazing thing happens when we offer praise and thanksgiving to God. When we give God enjoyment, our own hearts are filled with joy.” — Rick Warren

Some people complain that roses have thorns, i am thankful, grateful and amazed that thorns have roses –Daya

Be yourself

Be yourself, because an original is worth more than a copy, the world will have to love your original self, if it doesn’t, then it looses.

You don’t need anyone’s permission, approval or affection in order to be good enough, your worth isn’t contingent upon people’s acceptance to you, its something inherent.

Daniell Koepke said ” you exist, therefore you matter, you’re allowed to voice out your thoughts and feelings, you’re allowed to hold on to the truth , that who you are is exactly enough, and you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise”.

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts.

I’ve heard the statement “just be yourself” so much that it sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that. What I’ve wondered, though, is what in the world does that mean? What if someone is a jerk to other people? Is it okay for them to just be themselves and go on being a jerk to everyone?

How about people who are fearful of being around others and live a hermit-like life, avoiding people? In my quest for answers , I’ve found that it is very much possible to just be yourself. The person who is a jerk to others and the person who is afraid of social situations are not being themselves. Their real self is just being covered up with conditioned, fear-based thinking.

Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness. It is who we really are when we let fall to the floor the cloak of other people’s stuff that we have taken on. Everything else that we claim to be when we say, “This is who I am!” is only a story.

We need to uncover our real nature, by being outside of the accumulated thoughts and beliefs that we have collected over a lifetime, and in doing that, we need to;

– Get in touch with our inner child. If you ever watch small children , you will notice just how free they are and how little they care about what other people think of them. They are happy and in the moment, they are their true natures. My little cousin Aninna will play till she falls asleep when she was growing up, she will smile in her sleep, leaving me wondering.

Children don’t care if people think that they are silly while they dance in the front yard for all of the neighbors to see, children are just pure love and light. If you really want to get in touch with your inner child, become freer. Play, have fun, enjoy the moment, do cartwheels in the front yard, be your original self.

“Dont compare yours self to others, you are not a copy, you are an original, craft your own individuality and sense of style and just be you” -Daya

Then you need to become more aware of your thoughts, You may be shocked by the number of negative thoughts that run through your mind on any given day. After so long, our reality begins to take shape based on all of these conditioned thinking patterns. You need to become more aware of the quality of your thinking, allow yourself to sit quietly every morning before starting your day for just five to ten minutes. Yes, thoughts will come and go, but just allow them to do that without getting attached to them. Just observe them.

We have so many unconscious beliefs that we have taken on over the years that were probably handed down to us from somebody else, and we believe it to be who we are.

Becoming more aware of the quality of your thoughts, letting go of the old beliefs, and becoming more present can help in revealing your true nature.

You then have to follow your intuition, this is probably one of the most important factors in being yourself. I ignored my intuition for the longest time because I felt so obligated to others, their happiness was more important than my own.

I will tell you this, from my own little personal experience: When you start following the little nudges and urges that you get, you will have hopped onto the magic carpet ride of awesomeness. It doesn’t mean that you will never have bumps in the road again, but when you are in alignment with your soul, you will always be steered in the best possible direction.

I had lost touch with my natural self and stuffed it away in a box, whenever I would notice myself getting attached to the stories and labels in my head or would catch myself playing roles with others, I would just breathe and relax into the moment without any labels or judgments, it was seriously a challenge because I cared so much about being accepted by others, So I would ask myself, “How would I act right now if I had no cares of what others thought of me?” I realized that who I naturally am without anything else added is perfectly okay. I would stand in front of my mirror and give pep talks to myself, i will be like ” Mercy, you are beautiful,you are unique, you are special, you are smart, you are you, and that’s enough, Mercy i will make you proud.

When you let go of the old ways of thinking, follow your bliss, and do what you love, you will begin to align with happiness and peace, love yourself, laugh more, dance and enjoy ur company, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, most importantly, be your original self.

This piece was written by Dayil Daya Mercy, inspired by Omale U Godwin. Thanks for bringing out the best in me.


An orphan is any child who has lost one or more parents through death or abandonment. However, there is more than just one kind of orphan. A double orphan has lost both parents and a single orphan has lost just one parent. There are also social orphans who are abandoned by their parents, family members, or care givers. These children are effectively orphaned by society and left to fend for themselves.

In every other part of the world the number of orphans is decreasing, in Africa the numbers are increasing at an alarming rate. Here are some disturbing facts: Over 30 percent of the children who die in the world are Africans, even though they make up only 10% of the world’s children. 19,000 African children die every single day Over 1 million children are orphaned every year There are more than 90,000 new orphans every month … more than 2,900 every single day The numbers are staggering and the misery is unimaginable. Most of these children have been orphaned due to the AIDS pandemic, which generates more orphans than any other disease the world has ever known, crisis and war has rendered alot of children orphans too.

When my late dad retired and when to volunteer in an orphanage, i was visiting and checking on them, i discovered that the demand for care and support is overwhelming, Families and communities are struggling to provide for themselves, never mind taking care of orphans.

Most of these children are often raised by their grandparents, members of their extended family, or left on their own in households headed by other children or left to fend for themselves and to the mercy of their surroundings, exposed to so many dangers.

While the physical needs of orphans, such as nutrition and health care, are the most urgent needs, the emotional impact on children who have lost a parent is also a serious concern. Having a parent become sick and die is a major trauma for any child, and affects them for the rest of their lives. Many children die from malnutrition, lack of medical attention, or neglect. There are simply not enough resources to provide them with even the most meager necessities to survive. While their life is difficult, they are not without hope. Jesus says in John 14:18, “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” We trust that God sees each of these children and is at work to bring change in their lives.

“But God will not come from heaven to provide for these kids, he blesses us to be blessings”

It doesn’t take much to visit an orphanage, it doesn’t take much to put a smile on a child’s face.

A wise man said this yesterday; We must not wait to be highly rich before we help people. My little experience with homes and orphanages has taught me that its not the resources, its the heart, buy foodstuff, they’ll eat and forget you, play with them, put a smile on their faces, take their minds off of their predicaments, they’ll never forget you. God has called me to serve humanity through orphanage ministry, thats my passion, my dream and i accept it with an open arm.

I urge us all to discover our purpose, our calling and pursue it, meanwhile look for an orphanage nearby, go sow a seed, put a smile on a child’s face and God will bless you.


There is no doubt, the issues surrounding my generation is as old as humanity. However, the issues facing “the young” in the 21st Century are far much different from issues of youths in the yester centuries. The teens/youths in the 21st Century Church, of course, are not exempted from this dilemma.

The dangerous phenomena that characterise this generation are far numerous: Globalization, overpopulation, abortion, gay rights, poverty, disease, war and terrorism, drinking/smoking, waywardness, global warming, power in international relations, increasing popularity of digital formats for entertainment media such as movies and music and the advancement of technology are the major issues that characterise this 21st Century .

However, to say the affected category of people is mostly the youths is never a gainsaying. The African Youth Charter defines “youth” as “every person between the ages of 15 and 35 years”. Every Christian youth needs to keep him or herself abreast of the current issues in the world and learn how to tackle these using the Holy Bible as the standard. This is because these forces and factors impinge upon, affect and shape the lives of young people in every sphere of life. Nowadays it’s like a wave of carnality is sweeping the youths off their feet across the globe. Many young people are without hope, discouraged and depressed to the point where they are suicidal. Even within the church there is discontentment, disappointment and loneliness, they look at the world around them, and they see no hope for the future. There is unrest and war throughout the world. Unemployment is a real problem among the youths.

As an information scientist, i did a little literature review and found out that in 2011, the National Bureau of Statistics estimates that Nigeria’s unemployment rate rose to 23.9% compared with 21.1% in 2010. When the Nigerian youths come out of Secondary school, College or complete their one year compulsory National Youth Service Corp (NYSC), there is no guarantee for a job or career. They seem to have no goal to work to in life, many turn to drinking, gambling, drugs, partying, prostitution and other ungodly acts. In many parts of the world, young people are still suffering from hunger, lack of access to education, health services and job opportunities, and are exposed to insecurity and violence.

The relationship between the Church and young people have been, and probably will always be, a catalyst for disagreement and tension unless some quite dramatic changes take place. There is no doubt that the church is facing serious challenges on a number of fronts in this generation, negative and defensive reaction will only serve to underline the status quo and push this “chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own special people…” (1 Peter 2:9 NKJV) .

There is need for a positive willingness to face realities, re- order priorities and implement change that will restore the glory of the church, as we are the salt of the earth and light of the world.

The church is actually in its last days as Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NKJV). The 21st Century Church and her youths have been experiencing these phenomena at an alarming rate like never before. The world has changed. Time has changed – the pace at which we live life has accelerated terrifically.

We now have interactive teaching and learning, more stimulations than ever before, more things to do, to read, to watch, to experience. These days young people are more often found quoting a pick up line from Hollywood, Nollywood, Bollywood actors and actresses than a bible verse. It is not going to change. I could imagine myself in my younger years, at age eleven/ twelve,what I would be doing after my school hours if not my lunch, school homework, thereafter, my apportioned domestic chores, and on Mondays , my step mum drags me to BSF (bible study foundation), which wasn’t much fun cos we would trek for miles just to get to st. Pirans all the way from Rikkos new layout for that bible study, i would be as tired as a rag. The world is different now: twelve year olds today earn cash in their spare time, hang out with friends, play computer games, surf the internet, go to the movies, the mall, and play Sony Playstation games.

On the other hand, why should one spend time memorising, when Androids, Tablets, Ipad and other hand held computers contain easy-reference word-search Bible concordances in a multitude of versions. Why memorise when its online? Young people in this generation know more and have access to vastly greater quantities of information than ever before. We have lots more information at our finger tips than those teaching us, Which means we are less likely to accept authoritative and definitive answers. No longer will “Because I say so” suffice – especially when the “I” is an older person who can’t search Encyclopaedia Britannica online; isn’t a member of three email forums, doesn’t read nine daily newspapers from around the globe and doesn’t subscribe to six of the latest scientific and theological journals from universities as far afield as Boston and London. Let us face it, how many of the older generation- can do that already?

The youths have had a jump start – while anyone currently over thirty is still playing catch up when it comes to Information Technology. What do young people expect from the church as far as assuming any leadership roles? My little experience in church affairs clearly reveals that many churches are generally reluctant to seriously consider leadership potential amongst the young or to develop ways of enabling youthful leadership to emerge. It is impossible, and dangerous, to consider the spiritual in the lives of young people and at the same time ignore what is happening to them in terms of their development in other spheres of life (most especially their gainful employment). King Solomon, the richest, wealthiest and wisest man that ever lived challenged the Israelite nation to “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it”- (Proverbs 22:6). It is not only the responsibility of parents to give such discipline and training, but also the church.

The church must educate, train and prepare the young generation to carry on the burden of leadership and management of nations and resources of the world. There can be no doubt, then, that young people need Christ. They need His example, they need His guidance, and they need His salvation. Solomon exhorted the young to “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecc. 12: 1). There can be a tendency to put off our obedience to Christ, but Solomon points out the time when we need to proclaim and carry out our allegiance to God – in our youth, not years later when our ability to serve Christ and the amount we can achieve for him have been diminished by the wasted years (Ecc. 12).

How then can the church encourage its young people to stay close to God and make a life-long commitment to Him by rendering obedience to the Gospel and staying faithful in this decayed world? The church, parents/guardians, older ones, schools, must ensure that we, the youths receive a steady diet of “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20: 27). We should eschew the tendency seen so often in the world of “soft-pedalling” on sin, and instead point out the many ways in which the lifestyle being promoted to teenagers is in contradiction to God’s Word. Solomon warned of the danger of youth following its own desires with little regard to the consequences: “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thine heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgement” (Ecc. 11: 9). Youth must be explicitly admonished of the consequences of sin. While the presentation of God’s Word needs to be done so as to hold their interest, this is no excuse for ignoring the realities of sin and judgement. Indeed, as young people approach and pass accountability, they need more than ever to know that God will hold them accountable for their thoughts, words and deeds.

Conclusively, there is no doubt that it can be a difficult thing for any young person to live godly in my generation, its a struggle, but the life of a young person who has devoted himself/herself to God is a beautiful thing with great reward in this contemporary time. The older generation in the church should bear in mind, however, that in a very real sense the youths are the church of today. They should also understand that the youths are the future of the church and they must be taken care of. Without their youthful strength and energy the church would rapidly stagnate and grow old. They form a vital and essential part of the Lord’s body, and we must ensure that in this 21st Century they have every opportunity to remember God and fashion their lives after His Son Jesus .

The Church should value the input the youths have into the church community, celebrate their achievements, cherish their open and trusting hearts, and help to guide them in their walk in Christ, not judge them and despise them, each young person can take heed to Paul’s exhortation to Timothy: “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity (I Tim. 4: 12). The people of God must encourage the young amongst them to strive to do this, and they must hold out their hands to support them as they do so.

Thanks for taking out time to read the message God has given me to state, about my generation.


Hypothesis of love: Love is involuntary, Brain science tells us it’s a drive like thirst. It’s a craving for a specific person. It’s normal, natural to “lose control” in the early stage of romance. Love, like thirst, will make you do strange things, But knowledge is power. It’s a natural addiction and treating it like an addiction can help you.
Mark Manson said; Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy. But like any other experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. Like any other experience, it cannot be allowed to define us, our identities or our life purpose. We cannot let it consume us. We cannot sacrifice our identities and self-worth to it. Because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves.

In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called, “All You Need is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and hostile slurs. Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor, wrote a song called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his comically and disturbing videos, got clean from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then cancelled his entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father. One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not.

In our culture today, many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle . And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price. When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like Lennon, we’re more likely to ignore the fundamental values such as respect, humility and commitment towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff — all of the hard stuff? But if, like Reznor, we believe that “love is not enough,” then we understand that healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.


The problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place. Allow me to illustrate:

1. Love does not equal compatibility-just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you to be with over the long term. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. And the two don’t bleed into one another very well. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn’t treat us well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to bring us down with them. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who has different ambitions or life goals that are contradictory to our own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews that clash with our own sense of reality. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness . That may sound paradoxical, but it’s true. When I think of all of the disastrous relationships I’ve seen or people have emailed me about, many (or most) of them were entered into on the basis of emotion — they felt that “spark” and so they just dove in head first.

2. Love does not solve relationship problem: while love may make you feel better about your relationship problems, it doesn’t actually solve any of your relationship problems . The roller coaster of emotions can be intoxicating, each high feeling even more important and more valid than the one before, but unless there’s a stable and practical foundation beneath your feet, that rising tide of emotion will eventually come and wash it all away.

3. Love is not always worth sacrificing yourself. One of the defining characteristics of loving someone is that you are able to think outside of yourself and your own needs to help care for another person and their needs as well. But the question that doesn’t get asked often enough is exactly what are you sacrificing, and is it worth it?

In loving relationships, it’s normal for both people to occasionally sacrifice their own desires, their own needs, and their own time for one another. I would argue that this is normal and healthy and a big part of what makes a relationship so great. But when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity, one’s physical body, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic.

A loving relationship is supposed to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it. If we find ourselves in situations where we’re tolerating disrespectful or abusive behavior, then that’s essentially what we’re doing: we’re allowing our love to consume us and negate us, and if we’re not careful, it will leave us as a shell of the person we once were.

“You need more in life than love. Love is great, lobe is necessary, love is beautiful but love is not enough”.

       BROKEN (A gift) 

Sometimes I just feel broken!!

I look at my life and see all the ways I fall short—all those things I said I’d do that I didn’t, all the expectations I had for myself that I never fulfilled. I see my weaknesses and frustratingly human frailty and the way it’s affected people negatively in my life. I see my brokenheartedness over losing my mother and father and wonder sometimes if I’ll ever feel whole again.

There are many ways to feel broken—physically, because of illness or injury; emotionally, because of unfulfilled desires or loss of a relationship; mentally, because of anxiety, depression, or other mental illness; or spiritually, because of crippling doubts or crises of faith or having intellectual faith.  In the midst of all these, it can be easy to agonize over whether or not we can ever be acceptable to God or be of use in His kingdom because we’re so human and broken. I know I feel that way sometimes.

However, God is good, and He has taught me a valuable lesson about being broken through my little life’s experiences:

Brokenness is a gift“.

Why? Because our brokenness connects us to each other, and our brokenness brings us to Christ. It is by bringing our broken hearts to Him that we are made whole.

Sharing our brokenness brings meaning to our experiences, and the connection we make with others when we share our stories brings healing.

Up until recently, I hadn’t put my experience of losing my dad into writing that I shared with others. Writing the articles and post was more difficult than I expected—going back to that dark time in my life triggered feelings of grief and required working through a lot of emotions, even though I had experienced healing since my mom and dad’s passing. It took courage to show a part of me that was so tender, so broken, for the world to see.

But miracles happened during that process. I write my stories  and post through tears,  People I didn’t even know reached out to me in person and online and shared how my story had helped them with the grief they were experiencing in their own lives. And I was grateful to God for the opportunity to see His hand touch others through my broken heart.

Being broken is a gift, because when we are broken, we recognize the need for a Savior to make us whole.

There’s a reason that the sacrifice Jesus asks of us is a “broken heart and a contrite spirit.” A broken heart is one that is open to Him, that lets in His grace. He felt our pains and sorrows first, and by going through a little of what He went through, we feel His power in our lives.

I’ve had several cry-in-public moments since my dad died. Once I was in my room with a friend when my emotions overflowed, It hurts so much sometimes, missing him.  My friend sat quietly, his hand on my shoulder. I remember feeling love and peace and sorrow all at once, like the Savior’s arms were around me as I cried.

It’s been in moments like that, when I feel most vulnerable and the most broken, that I have felt the Savior’s love the strongest. He does not condemn me for my weakness or demand that I move faster; He stays by my side. Every I take the communion,  it reminds me that it’s OK that I’m broken, because  Jesus was broken too. He is “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief,” and with His stripes, I keep the saying, I am healed (see Isa 53:3-5)

I am grateful for the gift of being broken. God has shown me that He loves me and uses me not in spite of the fact that I’m broken, but because of it. As Christ says in Ether 12:27 , “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them”.!  I’ve reflected a lot on the meaning of that scripture. I don’t think it means that all our weaknesses will be taken away, but rather through Jesus’s atoning sacrifice, beautiful relationships with God and with our fellow men can grow from them. When we are weak, we realize the need for our Savior, and He comes to us. No matter our weaknesses and shortcomings, with Him standing beside us, hand in hand with Him and with those we love, we are whole